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So, yesterday Winter decided to rudely and officially re-introduce itself to us. Instead of the usual "first-freeze handshake", He opted for the more ostentatious, blustery, knocking-over-18-wheelers-on-the-highway , so-heavy-you-can-lean-back-against-it windy ass slap.
Sort of like an abusive husband calling out, "Hi baby, I'm home. Didja miss me?"
I hate winter. I hate it so very much.
Winter as an aesthetic or spiritual concept is very nice and useful, but the reality of living a good deal of it outdoors is a giant pain in the ass.
I mostly hate being reduced to a giant ball of immobile fluff, adding an extra 5-10 minutes of fluffing/de-fluffing time anywhere you go, not being able to perform manual tasks with any dexterity, and not being able to safely run for fear of black ice patches on the sidewalk.
Also, I hate having to keep track of the million peices of fluff that are required for outdoor survival everywhere i go. Earmuffs, check. Scarf, check. Mittens, check. Hat, check. umbrella, check. Goretex boots, check. on and on. Not like I didn't have enough to carry around and remember in each class with the various notebooks, textbooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, daytimer, cell phone, etc.
I hate the salt that they have to put everywhere for safety, which is then tracked into every building and soaks into your socks, jeans and the carpet, turning everything a lovely shade of hawkwood grey. I hate the icy salty slush seeping up into my pant legs and making me walk around with cold wet (or after a while, warm, damp *eww* ) legs all day. I hate having snow slush soak into the toes of my shoes, and then slowly into my socks, giving me wet, icky cold toes all day. I don't have room in my backpack for that many pairs of dry socks, and I can't afford to go home in the middle of the day to change.
I hate the ugly brown and black slush on the side of the roads that gets mixed into the pretty new white drifts, spoiling what little aesthetic and sentimental value a "white christmas" season has.
I hate that I can't wear makeup at all, ever, because as soon as I go outside the high winds and frezzing cold activate my tear ducts and my nasal passages, which then start producing like mad in an effort to insulate my cells from the ambient irritation. What good is waterproof eyeliner if it's smudged all over your face by your sleeve by the time you get to school from trying to wipe the "tears" away so you can see where the frell you're going in the blizzardy snow?
I hate freezing my ass off to talk to anyone on my cell phone because it only works outside because all the campus buildings are constructed like concrete forts and are dead-cell-zones.
ARGH.
Everyone here is too busy or too politically correct to bother with holiday trappings, so it's not even fun inside. Then I go home after finals and my mom pleads with us to let our family not have to celebrate anything because she feels it is a giant chore and gets all stressed if we try to decorate ourselves. My dad couldn't care less. Plus Texas in winter is at least as ugly as the brown slush upstate NY. But Texas has its upsides; at least it has some fluke warm days, and only on the worst cold days would you need full survival-fluff regalia. And the evil white stuff? Fuggeddaboudit.
Then I get to come back up here and deal with this shit for 3 more months, if it's a good year.
When I graduate, I am frelling moving to frelling Jamaica, and this misery can kiss my overly pale bikini clad ass.
Sort of like an abusive husband calling out, "Hi baby, I'm home. Didja miss me?"
I hate winter. I hate it so very much.
Winter as an aesthetic or spiritual concept is very nice and useful, but the reality of living a good deal of it outdoors is a giant pain in the ass.
I mostly hate being reduced to a giant ball of immobile fluff, adding an extra 5-10 minutes of fluffing/de-fluffing time anywhere you go, not being able to perform manual tasks with any dexterity, and not being able to safely run for fear of black ice patches on the sidewalk.
Also, I hate having to keep track of the million peices of fluff that are required for outdoor survival everywhere i go. Earmuffs, check. Scarf, check. Mittens, check. Hat, check. umbrella, check. Goretex boots, check. on and on. Not like I didn't have enough to carry around and remember in each class with the various notebooks, textbooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, daytimer, cell phone, etc.
I hate the salt that they have to put everywhere for safety, which is then tracked into every building and soaks into your socks, jeans and the carpet, turning everything a lovely shade of hawkwood grey. I hate the icy salty slush seeping up into my pant legs and making me walk around with cold wet (or after a while, warm, damp *eww* ) legs all day. I hate having snow slush soak into the toes of my shoes, and then slowly into my socks, giving me wet, icky cold toes all day. I don't have room in my backpack for that many pairs of dry socks, and I can't afford to go home in the middle of the day to change.
I hate the ugly brown and black slush on the side of the roads that gets mixed into the pretty new white drifts, spoiling what little aesthetic and sentimental value a "white christmas" season has.
I hate that I can't wear makeup at all, ever, because as soon as I go outside the high winds and frezzing cold activate my tear ducts and my nasal passages, which then start producing like mad in an effort to insulate my cells from the ambient irritation. What good is waterproof eyeliner if it's smudged all over your face by your sleeve by the time you get to school from trying to wipe the "tears" away so you can see where the frell you're going in the blizzardy snow?
I hate freezing my ass off to talk to anyone on my cell phone because it only works outside because all the campus buildings are constructed like concrete forts and are dead-cell-zones.
ARGH.
Everyone here is too busy or too politically correct to bother with holiday trappings, so it's not even fun inside. Then I go home after finals and my mom pleads with us to let our family not have to celebrate anything because she feels it is a giant chore and gets all stressed if we try to decorate ourselves. My dad couldn't care less. Plus Texas in winter is at least as ugly as the brown slush upstate NY. But Texas has its upsides; at least it has some fluke warm days, and only on the worst cold days would you need full survival-fluff regalia. And the evil white stuff? Fuggeddaboudit.
Then I get to come back up here and deal with this shit for 3 more months, if it's a good year.
When I graduate, I am frelling moving to frelling Jamaica, and this misery can kiss my overly pale bikini clad ass.
