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back at school.
Sep. 17th, 2003 11:14 pm*sigh*
So I'm here. again. another year. At Cornell. I'm really.... ambivalent about being here. We're in the 3rd week of the term now, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...
I really didn't feel emotionally ready to come back here, because of how badly I burned myself out last year. Then again, I feel like I'm supposed to be here, and it is an exciting place, and I know it's supposedly one of the best educations money can buy (I should know; I'm footing my own bill). And when it's not wintertime or exam time (which is almost never, during the schoolyear) Ithaca is a gorgeous paradise full of creeks, streams, lakes, lush vegetation, a unique local culture and great shopping and restaurants.
but-- I really. badly. hate. ithacawinter.
I hate it because the weather sucks and I need sunshine at least SOMEtimes. I don't think that's asking for much, but in Ithaca, it will be cold and bleak for months on end. I hate walking around in freezing wind, I hate wearing so many clothes and feeling like a bundled-up ball of wool, while simultaneously being required to perform manual tasks with some degree of dexerity- it's like trying to sing with phlegm in your throat, or trying to play piano with muffs on your hands....
and I hate carrying a breifcase or wearing a backpack or something in the freezing wind when you're bundled up and it's hard to carry anything and THEN, because you're required to shift your weight in a weird way to accomodate what you're carrying, the wind sneaks into little holes in your coat that wouldn't normally be open if you weren't carrying something weirdly, and it bites you, while you're trudging through the snow to another class that you're just going to fall asleep in because you're so exhausted because you had to stay up all night doing a project for your 5 other classes because your group members are all putzes and didn't show up or do their part of the work on time because nobody wants to go outside of their dorm to meet anybody anywhere if they can get away with it because it's damn fecking cold outside and frostbite is no fun! And neither is stomping around the hilly Cornell campus in the snow.
*stops, takes a deep breath*
And that's why winter makes me cringe. (No offense, Redwing) It's not.... the Spirit of Winter, really; i mean, i love winter holidays and decorations and the beauty of snowy landscapes, and was caught up in the wonder my first winter here as a native Texan. It's more just... the harsh physical reality of living mudane life with a blah grey world (dirty snow on the side of the road is never a pretty thing), no sunlight (my human skin's need rebels against my vampiric fantasies), and being stuck bundled up against the and weighed down with accoutre-crap, that grates on me. I'm like an animal, I hate feeling swaddled or smothered like i can't escape. The cornell campus is a huge liability in the winter because it's dangerous to walk, let alone run to anywhere. I suspect if I had a warm little winter cottage in the woods where the snow is clean and the sky isn't always bleak and industrial, winter would seem much more pleasant.
okay. okay.
But things are a little better, this time. At least, they seem a little better. It also helped that I moved into a really nice dorm this year. The people here are awesome, all creative and open and rainbowy and stuff. They let you paint murals on the walls and we have costume-party house meetings with blueberry smoothies instead of plain ol' required house meetings. And there is a Steinway grand piano next to the laundry room (albeit old and vibrate-y, but the action is still solid and the pedals all work).
So, even if school sucks, I can come home to someplace nice, which really means a lot to me, because last year, I hated my dorm and it was so unfriendly and blah that it made me want to cry sometimes. It was like, I went from the outside cold, windy and grey blah to the inside warm, stale cinderblock blah.
And I never felt like I could be myself around my roommate; it was so weird that we almost never even said hi to each other or anything. We didn't fight, we just.... never talked, like it was some sort of unspoken taboo.
But here it's not like that. I have my own room, and there are nice people and fun things to do, so I can be private or public when i feel like it.
We also have a little kitchen on every floor, which is great because I didn't buy a meal plan this year, so I'm cooking for myself, which is kind of a chore, but also kind of adventurous, so I'm having fun grocery shopping and learning about how to really keep a good pantry stocked. I thought I was going to be taking our required culinary arts class this term, and so I have nice knives and measuring spoons and everything, only I got kicked out of it because there wasn't enough space. :( So I had to find a different course to fill my requirements, and that was a pain because my schedule was already set.
Which is a nice segway to academics:
As far as schoolwork goes, I am only taking 15 credits this semester, my lightest load ever here. I have 5 classes, but one is only once a week so it's just a 2 credit class.
Instead of Culinary arts I am taking an Information Systems class (also required, but usually a senior class).
so here's the breakdown:
(3 credits) Managerial Accounting *sigh* If I pass this I'll be surprised.
(3 credits) Hotel Development and Design *yay!*
(3 credits) Information Technology /Systems *undecided*
(2 credits) Wine Snobbery (not really, I just like to call it that- it's really tasting, food pairing, history and chemistry ) *yay!*
(4 credits) Mandarin 201 (yes, it's as hard as it sounds. I'm a masochist. Arg.)
So, uhm, yes, I am hoping that with a little lighter load, and a nice place to live, I will not burn out so fast, and I can bring my grades up some this term, because lord knows I need to.
So I'm here. again. another year. At Cornell. I'm really.... ambivalent about being here. We're in the 3rd week of the term now, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop...
I really didn't feel emotionally ready to come back here, because of how badly I burned myself out last year. Then again, I feel like I'm supposed to be here, and it is an exciting place, and I know it's supposedly one of the best educations money can buy (I should know; I'm footing my own bill). And when it's not wintertime or exam time (which is almost never, during the schoolyear) Ithaca is a gorgeous paradise full of creeks, streams, lakes, lush vegetation, a unique local culture and great shopping and restaurants.
but-- I really. badly. hate. ithacawinter.
I hate it because the weather sucks and I need sunshine at least SOMEtimes. I don't think that's asking for much, but in Ithaca, it will be cold and bleak for months on end. I hate walking around in freezing wind, I hate wearing so many clothes and feeling like a bundled-up ball of wool, while simultaneously being required to perform manual tasks with some degree of dexerity- it's like trying to sing with phlegm in your throat, or trying to play piano with muffs on your hands....
and I hate carrying a breifcase or wearing a backpack or something in the freezing wind when you're bundled up and it's hard to carry anything and THEN, because you're required to shift your weight in a weird way to accomodate what you're carrying, the wind sneaks into little holes in your coat that wouldn't normally be open if you weren't carrying something weirdly, and it bites you, while you're trudging through the snow to another class that you're just going to fall asleep in because you're so exhausted because you had to stay up all night doing a project for your 5 other classes because your group members are all putzes and didn't show up or do their part of the work on time because nobody wants to go outside of their dorm to meet anybody anywhere if they can get away with it because it's damn fecking cold outside and frostbite is no fun! And neither is stomping around the hilly Cornell campus in the snow.
*stops, takes a deep breath*
And that's why winter makes me cringe. (No offense, Redwing) It's not.... the Spirit of Winter, really; i mean, i love winter holidays and decorations and the beauty of snowy landscapes, and was caught up in the wonder my first winter here as a native Texan. It's more just... the harsh physical reality of living mudane life with a blah grey world (dirty snow on the side of the road is never a pretty thing), no sunlight (my human skin's need rebels against my vampiric fantasies), and being stuck bundled up against the and weighed down with accoutre-crap, that grates on me. I'm like an animal, I hate feeling swaddled or smothered like i can't escape. The cornell campus is a huge liability in the winter because it's dangerous to walk, let alone run to anywhere. I suspect if I had a warm little winter cottage in the woods where the snow is clean and the sky isn't always bleak and industrial, winter would seem much more pleasant.
okay. okay.
But things are a little better, this time. At least, they seem a little better. It also helped that I moved into a really nice dorm this year. The people here are awesome, all creative and open and rainbowy and stuff. They let you paint murals on the walls and we have costume-party house meetings with blueberry smoothies instead of plain ol' required house meetings. And there is a Steinway grand piano next to the laundry room (albeit old and vibrate-y, but the action is still solid and the pedals all work).
So, even if school sucks, I can come home to someplace nice, which really means a lot to me, because last year, I hated my dorm and it was so unfriendly and blah that it made me want to cry sometimes. It was like, I went from the outside cold, windy and grey blah to the inside warm, stale cinderblock blah.
And I never felt like I could be myself around my roommate; it was so weird that we almost never even said hi to each other or anything. We didn't fight, we just.... never talked, like it was some sort of unspoken taboo.
But here it's not like that. I have my own room, and there are nice people and fun things to do, so I can be private or public when i feel like it.
We also have a little kitchen on every floor, which is great because I didn't buy a meal plan this year, so I'm cooking for myself, which is kind of a chore, but also kind of adventurous, so I'm having fun grocery shopping and learning about how to really keep a good pantry stocked. I thought I was going to be taking our required culinary arts class this term, and so I have nice knives and measuring spoons and everything, only I got kicked out of it because there wasn't enough space. :( So I had to find a different course to fill my requirements, and that was a pain because my schedule was already set.
Which is a nice segway to academics:
As far as schoolwork goes, I am only taking 15 credits this semester, my lightest load ever here. I have 5 classes, but one is only once a week so it's just a 2 credit class.
Instead of Culinary arts I am taking an Information Systems class (also required, but usually a senior class).
so here's the breakdown:
(3 credits) Managerial Accounting *sigh* If I pass this I'll be surprised.
(3 credits) Hotel Development and Design *yay!*
(3 credits) Information Technology /Systems *undecided*
(2 credits) Wine Snobbery (not really, I just like to call it that- it's really tasting, food pairing, history and chemistry ) *yay!*
(4 credits) Mandarin 201 (yes, it's as hard as it sounds. I'm a masochist. Arg.)
So, uhm, yes, I am hoping that with a little lighter load, and a nice place to live, I will not burn out so fast, and I can bring my grades up some this term, because lord knows I need to.
