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how do you comfort someone who has made up their mind to be miserable?
how much trying is an indigo child required to do before she could be well within her rights to say, "you are hopeless"?
How do you make someone see that Love does not equal Posession....? ....That what they believe is love may actually be a more fear-based emotion instead?
Loved ones are not objects to be held in the hand and put on a shelf, to be let out only on special occasions like fine silverware or crystal goblets...
Love is not fearful; Love and Fear are polar opposites.
Of course both can exist within the same person, and cognitive dissonance is not easy to live with.
But in case you've become confused by the swirling of your head and heart, here are a few things Love is, and a few things It is not, so you may recognize it when you feel it:
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is vulnerablity.
Love is freeing.
Love is placing another's well-being above your own.
Love is not possession; possession stems from the Ego's attempt at self-preservation.
Love is not jealousy; it is not rooted in fear of abandonment.
Love is not even desire; desire is rooted in the ego, while Love enables you to think and feel un-Self-ishly. Remember that the Buddha taught desire is the root of all suffering.
Love is not micro-management; just because you really feel that you care deeply about someone, does not give you the right to plan someone else's life for them. Protecting them from getting hurt all the time, or keeping them from leaving your presence, is ultimately for YOUR peace of mind, not theirs. Recognize that those are Self-ish sentiments, and fall under the category of ego-preservation (see possession). We all learn from living life; do not presume to take that opportunity away from someone.
And what is Self, in the face of real Love? Nothing.
If you Love someone, let them go fly; if they come back, wonderful. If they don't-- consider the reason. Would you clip the wings of the very one whose beauty in flight inspired you to this Love? Are they safe? Are they happy? Then let go, and let your Love for them set your heart at peace.
And if, in regard to the person you "love", you find your own Self constantly in the way, like you just can't get past the "but what about me?" aspect-- then (and I hate to be harsh here, but I can't think of anyway else to say this):
you need to work on your own Self-ishness as a personal problem, or (if you're pretty sure it's not about that)
you don't really Love them (and that's actually okay, once you recognize it, you can do something about it),
or you think you Love them but it is a psychically draining relationship because they are not Loving you back,
in which case, grow some balls (or ask for help) and get outta there, or resign yourself to your chosen souldeath and shutthefrellup.
When real Love is in the heart, it shines out and multiplies in the world surrounding that person, a universal "sparkly" beacon that manifests returns according to the law of 3, instant karma, whatever you want to call it. When you are a Loving person, you can never be truly lonely or lost because people are attracted to you by the sense of comfort they find in your presence.
But I am beginning to despair that you ever knew real Love, or that you did once, but it is long forgotten, cast aside in favor of a manipulated peace of mind.
Look, Love IS disturbing....and wonderful.
How can I ever make you see? The truth is, because I Love you, I can't. You will have to see for yourself. I pray you will soon.
Until then, I will keep trying to help balance you when I can, and let you learn your own lessons at your own pace.
how much trying is an indigo child required to do before she could be well within her rights to say, "you are hopeless"?
How do you make someone see that Love does not equal Posession....? ....That what they believe is love may actually be a more fear-based emotion instead?
Loved ones are not objects to be held in the hand and put on a shelf, to be let out only on special occasions like fine silverware or crystal goblets...
Love is not fearful; Love and Fear are polar opposites.
Of course both can exist within the same person, and cognitive dissonance is not easy to live with.
But in case you've become confused by the swirling of your head and heart, here are a few things Love is, and a few things It is not, so you may recognize it when you feel it:
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is vulnerablity.
Love is freeing.
Love is placing another's well-being above your own.
Love is not possession; possession stems from the Ego's attempt at self-preservation.
Love is not jealousy; it is not rooted in fear of abandonment.
Love is not even desire; desire is rooted in the ego, while Love enables you to think and feel un-Self-ishly. Remember that the Buddha taught desire is the root of all suffering.
Love is not micro-management; just because you really feel that you care deeply about someone, does not give you the right to plan someone else's life for them. Protecting them from getting hurt all the time, or keeping them from leaving your presence, is ultimately for YOUR peace of mind, not theirs. Recognize that those are Self-ish sentiments, and fall under the category of ego-preservation (see possession). We all learn from living life; do not presume to take that opportunity away from someone.
And what is Self, in the face of real Love? Nothing.
If you Love someone, let them go fly; if they come back, wonderful. If they don't-- consider the reason. Would you clip the wings of the very one whose beauty in flight inspired you to this Love? Are they safe? Are they happy? Then let go, and let your Love for them set your heart at peace.
And if, in regard to the person you "love", you find your own Self constantly in the way, like you just can't get past the "but what about me?" aspect-- then (and I hate to be harsh here, but I can't think of anyway else to say this):
you need to work on your own Self-ishness as a personal problem, or (if you're pretty sure it's not about that)
you don't really Love them (and that's actually okay, once you recognize it, you can do something about it),
or you think you Love them but it is a psychically draining relationship because they are not Loving you back,
in which case, grow some balls (or ask for help) and get outta there, or resign yourself to your chosen souldeath and shutthefrellup.
When real Love is in the heart, it shines out and multiplies in the world surrounding that person, a universal "sparkly" beacon that manifests returns according to the law of 3, instant karma, whatever you want to call it. When you are a Loving person, you can never be truly lonely or lost because people are attracted to you by the sense of comfort they find in your presence.
But I am beginning to despair that you ever knew real Love, or that you did once, but it is long forgotten, cast aside in favor of a manipulated peace of mind.
Look, Love IS disturbing....and wonderful.
How can I ever make you see? The truth is, because I Love you, I can't. You will have to see for yourself. I pray you will soon.
Until then, I will keep trying to help balance you when I can, and let you learn your own lessons at your own pace.
