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Jan. 19th, 2004 10:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yinshubackuphad an interesting weekend.
Saturday spent cleaning up/organizing fabric stuff and shopping with my sister. Found some great deals on the clearance table at Hancock Fabrics, and ended up making myself a very nice gothy dress out of scraps, eyelet tape and safety pins. Holding fabric around yourself with one hand so it doesn't fall off, and safety pinning it to yourself with the other hand, makes for an interesting experience.
Sunday morning had a lovely brunch at Kathleen's Art Cafe with Dancewench and her charming husband. They are pure Love, and it's great to be around them.
Afterward, went to see Girl With a Pearl Earring, which was lovely and sensual, just as I expected. They changed a few things here and there from the book, but overall kept the story and characters intact. Gorgeous costumes, sets and props. Dear lord, the propsmaster deserves some snaps for that.
It's pretty low-key, though, just like the book- not exciting enough for mainstream American audiences, which is why it's been relegated to art/indie houses, I suppose. Overall, beautiful.
Had lemon custard at Milwaukee Joe's next door, then hung out in the bookstore for a while, before leaving to go meet my mother at market hall. Got introduced to all my mom's massage therapy friends, who were still doing chair massage on passersby.
She got off shift early, so we went window shopping. Traipsed around Market Hall with her for a while, as all the stores were closing/setting out hor d'ourves (sp?) and margaritas and such, looked at lots of gorgeous lighting and home accessories, didn't make it to the fabric-mart before they closed. I heard they were throwing away dumpsters full of scraps. bummer! Well, maybe next time.
Came home, got dressed, went to Church. Looked good in my new dress and accoutrecrap, and I never say that kinda thing about myself. Hmm. Perhaps I should still revise that- ok, I don't really know how I looked, but I felt good in my new dress and accoutrecrap.
Then found out they were charging $5 for parking in the previously free lots. Then they didn't have coat check at all, so had to walk three blocks in the freezing cold to place my coat and teeny little purse back in my truck so I could dance without them getting stolen, then walked back in my sleeveless, satin and tulle dress, in the cold, with no coat.
Then except for a few good songs in the video room, the music mostly wasn't so great, or I just wasnt feelin' it, I dunno. But I didn't even care, I wanted to dance anyway. So I did. With a few different people, and by myself.
Writewench and her Other Jackie and her man were there, as was Firestarter, so that was nice. Got compliments on my gothywear (*yay*), struck up a few conversations with some random people, a couple of guys tried to pick me up, and one group of kids thought I was "trippin' hard" when really, I was just leaning against a wall, listening thoughtfully because it was a really good song (and therefore stood out and got me to notice and listen).
But, and I know this will sound weird, but-- Every time I went into the main floor, my heart started to ache, like physically felt like it was being ripped apart in my chest, and I realized that oddly, somehow these sound frequencies were not healthy or something. It was like... when an opera singer shatters glass, I felt like I was the glass, and if I stayed in that room my cells were going to explode, and not in a good way. I just felt weak and sad. Seriously. It was weird.
I kept walking in there, hitting this wall of obnixious sound and feeling, and turning around and leaving again. I don't know what was up with that. I usually Love the main floor, whether I'm dancing or just people watching-- the energy in there is usually so good, and it lifts my spirits just to be there, no matter how sucky my week was. Not so, this time. WTF?
Finally there were a few songs with less suckage, so I finally went out and danced on the main floor, since I was about to leave (and I knew I'd survive the cold walk to the truck better if I was overheated and sweating). Firestarter appeared out of nowhere to dance with me, and things ended on a happy-but-exhausted note.
Then me and Firestarter went to Cafe Brazil, and had a very nice breakfast in which I regained my humanness, and we talked, and I realized how damn much I'm going to miss him and everyone here.
It was hard to say goodbye.
But, I shall be leaving on Wednesday, bound once again for the winter snows of death which I love so dearly, as the grinding wheel of Cornhell turns. I only thought it was cold here.
Today I have felt inexplicably sad, all day. I don't know why. I had a really great day, well, mostly, and I don't know why I can't seem to get over this. I even got my energies realigned, and meditated, and everything. It only made my feelings.... i don't know... deeper, more profound, like a state of being rather than an emotion, and now I can't get out of it. I am not feeling sorry for myself, or anysuch nonsense... I can even feel happy at the same time, and laugh, and carry on light banter, but underneath there is this...layer of... sad...emptiness and...graveness... and... I don't even know... ...it's a kind of complex knot of emotion, actually, and I can't even describe it when i try to pick it apart, as I am doing now. so maybe I'll leave it alone, and quit overthinking it, and go to bed. Yes. sleep is a very good idea.
Anyway, if you read this far, I commend you.
So ends my long and pointless ramble.
Saturday spent cleaning up/organizing fabric stuff and shopping with my sister. Found some great deals on the clearance table at Hancock Fabrics, and ended up making myself a very nice gothy dress out of scraps, eyelet tape and safety pins. Holding fabric around yourself with one hand so it doesn't fall off, and safety pinning it to yourself with the other hand, makes for an interesting experience.
Sunday morning had a lovely brunch at Kathleen's Art Cafe with Dancewench and her charming husband. They are pure Love, and it's great to be around them.
Afterward, went to see Girl With a Pearl Earring, which was lovely and sensual, just as I expected. They changed a few things here and there from the book, but overall kept the story and characters intact. Gorgeous costumes, sets and props. Dear lord, the propsmaster deserves some snaps for that.
It's pretty low-key, though, just like the book- not exciting enough for mainstream American audiences, which is why it's been relegated to art/indie houses, I suppose. Overall, beautiful.
Had lemon custard at Milwaukee Joe's next door, then hung out in the bookstore for a while, before leaving to go meet my mother at market hall. Got introduced to all my mom's massage therapy friends, who were still doing chair massage on passersby.
She got off shift early, so we went window shopping. Traipsed around Market Hall with her for a while, as all the stores were closing/setting out hor d'ourves (sp?) and margaritas and such, looked at lots of gorgeous lighting and home accessories, didn't make it to the fabric-mart before they closed. I heard they were throwing away dumpsters full of scraps. bummer! Well, maybe next time.
Came home, got dressed, went to Church. Looked good in my new dress and accoutrecrap, and I never say that kinda thing about myself. Hmm. Perhaps I should still revise that- ok, I don't really know how I looked, but I felt good in my new dress and accoutrecrap.
Then found out they were charging $5 for parking in the previously free lots. Then they didn't have coat check at all, so had to walk three blocks in the freezing cold to place my coat and teeny little purse back in my truck so I could dance without them getting stolen, then walked back in my sleeveless, satin and tulle dress, in the cold, with no coat.
Then except for a few good songs in the video room, the music mostly wasn't so great, or I just wasnt feelin' it, I dunno. But I didn't even care, I wanted to dance anyway. So I did. With a few different people, and by myself.
Writewench and her Other Jackie and her man were there, as was Firestarter, so that was nice. Got compliments on my gothywear (*yay*), struck up a few conversations with some random people, a couple of guys tried to pick me up, and one group of kids thought I was "trippin' hard" when really, I was just leaning against a wall, listening thoughtfully because it was a really good song (and therefore stood out and got me to notice and listen).
But, and I know this will sound weird, but-- Every time I went into the main floor, my heart started to ache, like physically felt like it was being ripped apart in my chest, and I realized that oddly, somehow these sound frequencies were not healthy or something. It was like... when an opera singer shatters glass, I felt like I was the glass, and if I stayed in that room my cells were going to explode, and not in a good way. I just felt weak and sad. Seriously. It was weird.
I kept walking in there, hitting this wall of obnixious sound and feeling, and turning around and leaving again. I don't know what was up with that. I usually Love the main floor, whether I'm dancing or just people watching-- the energy in there is usually so good, and it lifts my spirits just to be there, no matter how sucky my week was. Not so, this time. WTF?
Finally there were a few songs with less suckage, so I finally went out and danced on the main floor, since I was about to leave (and I knew I'd survive the cold walk to the truck better if I was overheated and sweating). Firestarter appeared out of nowhere to dance with me, and things ended on a happy-but-exhausted note.
Then me and Firestarter went to Cafe Brazil, and had a very nice breakfast in which I regained my humanness, and we talked, and I realized how damn much I'm going to miss him and everyone here.
It was hard to say goodbye.
But, I shall be leaving on Wednesday, bound once again for the winter snows of death which I love so dearly, as the grinding wheel of Cornhell turns. I only thought it was cold here.
Today I have felt inexplicably sad, all day. I don't know why. I had a really great day, well, mostly, and I don't know why I can't seem to get over this. I even got my energies realigned, and meditated, and everything. It only made my feelings.... i don't know... deeper, more profound, like a state of being rather than an emotion, and now I can't get out of it. I am not feeling sorry for myself, or anysuch nonsense... I can even feel happy at the same time, and laugh, and carry on light banter, but underneath there is this...layer of... sad...emptiness and...graveness... and... I don't even know... ...it's a kind of complex knot of emotion, actually, and I can't even describe it when i try to pick it apart, as I am doing now. so maybe I'll leave it alone, and quit overthinking it, and go to bed. Yes. sleep is a very good idea.
Anyway, if you read this far, I commend you.
So ends my long and pointless ramble.
